Puta de vida!

[Cobaia]

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me.

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Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails.

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Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?"

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Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad proceeded to warn me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean".

[Cobaia]

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did.

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Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit.

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Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore.

[Cobaia]

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years.




Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came to for questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me.

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Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.

[Cobaia]

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents.



Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice.



Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law.

[Rufferto]

Algumas estão bem divertidas.

[Cobaia]

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant,but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled,"Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time.

[psenes]

Lol... quando li o titulo do post pensei que ias falar daquele video que andava pelo mail de toda à gente à uns tempos... e que tava bués engraçado... lol...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXLsBk65K8o