03-11-2009, 11:43
If Monopoly Was Honest
Monopoly was created in 1935, and the first game still hasn't finished.
Monopoly
In Monopoly, one player lucks into massive financial victory early on and spends the rest of the game slowly grinding everyone else into dust, accusing them of being poor losers when they complain. It's basically Capitalism: The Game--so try not to be the boot next time, Third World!
Even the British royal family refuses to the play the game because it gets "too vicious." That's the actual royal family, selected through generations of breeding and a lifetime's training to smile and wave politely at people, and they can't trust themselves around Monopoly. If you think you're calmer than that you go right ahead.
Game Length
The average length of a family is game is "infinity hours," as shouting and slammed doors aren't recognized as a victory condition by the official rules. We're not saying it's a terminally flawed game with all the time-awareness of a concussed Redwood: Hasbro themselves said that when they added extra rules to the official World Monopoly Championships to end the game inside a human lifespan.
The Free Parking Controversy
The official rules are "Absolutely nothing happens on Free Parking," as even the anti-family campaigners of Parker Brothers couldn't bring themselves to make the game longer. Some people add a cash prize of "all money paid to the bank" for landing on Free Parking, because nothing shortens an agonizingly interminable game like huge cash injections for random players. (Make a bailout joke here if you want.)
Notable Games
Bjorn Halvard Knappskog won over 20-thousand dollars in the 2009 World Monopoly Championships, while specially modified sets contained escape kits for British POWs during World War II. In other words, people need to be offered five-figure sums or held in Nazi prison camps to finish a game of Monopoly.
Monopoly was created in 1935, and the first game still hasn't finished.
Monopoly
In Monopoly, one player lucks into massive financial victory early on and spends the rest of the game slowly grinding everyone else into dust, accusing them of being poor losers when they complain. It's basically Capitalism: The Game--so try not to be the boot next time, Third World!
Even the British royal family refuses to the play the game because it gets "too vicious." That's the actual royal family, selected through generations of breeding and a lifetime's training to smile and wave politely at people, and they can't trust themselves around Monopoly. If you think you're calmer than that you go right ahead.
Game Length
The average length of a family is game is "infinity hours," as shouting and slammed doors aren't recognized as a victory condition by the official rules. We're not saying it's a terminally flawed game with all the time-awareness of a concussed Redwood: Hasbro themselves said that when they added extra rules to the official World Monopoly Championships to end the game inside a human lifespan.
The Free Parking Controversy
The official rules are "Absolutely nothing happens on Free Parking," as even the anti-family campaigners of Parker Brothers couldn't bring themselves to make the game longer. Some people add a cash prize of "all money paid to the bank" for landing on Free Parking, because nothing shortens an agonizingly interminable game like huge cash injections for random players. (Make a bailout joke here if you want.)
Notable Games
Bjorn Halvard Knappskog won over 20-thousand dollars in the 2009 World Monopoly Championships, while specially modified sets contained escape kits for British POWs during World War II. In other words, people need to be offered five-figure sums or held in Nazi prison camps to finish a game of Monopoly.
There's no stoppin' what can't be stopped, no killin' what can't be killed. You can't see the eyes of the demon, until him come callin'...